Consistency

from Welcome to my Creed by Twilight Prince

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lyrics

I need to get out of my head ....I need to get out of my head if I keep going
I’ll end up dead
consistency is always bountiful in the initial encounter
but with time it wanes and fades into the passing of time
but whether I choose to keep going and allow my mind to ponder
on the beneficial aspects is my chose
but is it something I’m willing to comprise my self destructive behavior for
that comfort in turmoil for
I can’t say for now but soon moments will mirror something I have no choice but to be prepared for
am I ready
I can’t say
conflicted with time and emotion
as I keep saying “I can” is an active component in this potion
this cocktail that has kept me inebriated for years
years on years of trying accompanied with my debilitating trust issues
Who can I hold near with a year that cost my sanity it’s worth in pounds
Lost loves, hopeless and empty encounters who am i to love
Who am to deserve such an emotion out of myself or anyone
Futile efforts and thwarted attempts to survive
I’m tired
Giving more than I receive because that’s the kindness in me
Because I understand your pain so I do all I can with a smile
even though I’m dying on the inside
Not a burden at which you think you are
I’m happy when I’m with you
Sharing moments of my meals and grace with you
Can you hear me now
YELLING BEYOND EVERY CREVICE IN THE HEAVENS
Do you see me now
DWELLING IN THE THE RESERVOIRS OF HELL
but in the truth
In the end
My only friend my only lover, is the sensation I get when my mind is pacing
Never fleeting always present the consistency I “need”